Sara's new room...

Y'all are the best.  I am not even kidding when I tell you that reading the responses to my last post made my face hurt from all the ear to ear smiling.  Talk about a virtual love fest.  I know it will pass- this race would not continue on if raising teens didn't land you on the other side going, "Wow, we made it!  What the hell was that??"

I'll make it too, but for now it is just hard.  (again with the dragging out of the word hard with a distinct whine)

I've been working on the room bit by bit.  My poor husband had to talk me down from the worst panic attack over hanging a ukelele.  I'm pretty sure the manufacturers of Xanax never had that scenario in mind when they created their miracle drug.   In my defense, incorporating a purple ukelele into a design scheme is not exactly easy.  Also, I know the anxiety wasn't really about the ukelele.

So here are a few pictures of the room...

The wood for the shelves came from a friend who had us cut down a HUGE shelf/buffet for her.  This was one of the shelves so we just cut it in half, added brackets and ta-da!...shelves.

This is a vintage sewing table that I have had forever.  I added two Nichols & Stone chairs (I collect chairs like some women collect cats)

The sofa is from Pottery Barn teen.  It is pool blue and coordinates with her other room.  She wanted pink, but they were out, so pool blue it was.

The walls are just a collection of pieces I had along with the addition of the new framed piece we made for her.  Pink, of course.

There is the purple anxiety attack inducing ukelele.  Brought to you by the makers of Xanax.

The curtains are PKaufman material in buffalo check.  Found the material on Ebay and made them myself.  They are not lined, and it was simple straight line sewing.  Easy peasy.  The rods are our signature fence posts.  Super cheap and I love the galvanized steel look.

Most importantly this girl was super happy with how it turned out.  She sits in there to read, talk on the phone, work puzzles with her boyfriend, and dance to her favourite music.  I love that the room reflects her personality and love of beachy colours.

Be the cream...

I was visiting one of my favourite blogs this weekend that features other blogger's homes.  I love peeking in and seeing how people create their vision of "home" and although many of the homes are not my style, I appreciate them nonetheless.  I was appalled to see that some readers left negative comments, and my heart hurt for the homeowner who would undoubtedly read those mean words about their personal sanctuary.  I still find myself baffled when a person leaves a negative comment on a blog.  Be it about the decorating, colour choices, personal choices or even grammar and spelling mistakes.   I always think, "Really?", because I find that cowardly and unnecessary.  Usually it's anonymous, and I guess that makes the person behind the hurtful words feel brave, but I find it sad for them.   How empty one's life must be to lash out at strangers.  Like our mommas taught us,  "If you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at all".

Y'all were so sweet with your words of understanding and advice regarding our empty room.  I took the original post down about the room, not really sure why, but I did.  It felt too personal, too raw- I've spent the past several years censoring myself.  When I quit teaching I vowed to not do that anymore- I am who I am, and I won't be made to feel ashamed of that.  But I'm human, and retraining myself is not always easy.  The journey of recovery is not that clear cut.

I've moved a few things into the room, and out of the room, and back into the room.  Waking up in the middle of the night in a full blown panic attack over using velcro on the wall to hang something, knowing in the morning light that the panic attack wasn't really about adhesive at all.

Decorating is a funny thing.  It's more than just creating a pretty space, for me it's therapy.  A lot of us arrange, rearrange, scour pages of decorating inspiration, watch HGTV, and are always on the hunt for that special piece to complete a space.   We pop over to blogs and see perfect, at their best, shiny photos of rooms that look flawless.  And we compare ours to theirs.  I'm guilty of that as I am sure many of y'all are too.  It's just human for us to want to put our best face on for society, you only have to read annual Christmas letters to see evidence of people doing just that.

I've mentioned before that I have been married three times.  My second marriage was a decision made out of necessity and a desire to fix what I had screwed up the first time.  I was a single mom to a daughter with Down Syndrome.  I needed a man who could provide stability, integrity- and good health care.  I loved him, but not in a "let's get married and spend eternity together" kind of way.  I'm not putting anything on here that hasn't been shared with him, in fact we are now very good friends.  But while we were married, it was a catastrophe.  I remember decorating and redecorating the bedroom.  New drapes, bedspreads, bathroom accessories- pretty much every few months.  Looking back on it I can see why- underneath it all I was trying to decor-fix our marriage.  It was broken and ugly, and so I thought a new coverlet and some paint would make it all better.  Not my smartest therapy moments, but I've learned since then.

Which brings me back to the empty room.  I'm hurt, but I'm also a very practical person.  The room is empty, and just wasted space in our cottage.  I'm not okay with leaving it that way, and Sara has already started to send clear messages that she wants that room.   She keeps dragging her bean bag with her books to read in there.   So I started to pull a few things in and thinking about how we could best design the room for her.  Her bedroom is tiny and she loves to hang out in there singing, drawing, reading and talking to her boyfriend on the phone.  She needs a living room of sorts, so here is my plan:

There are two windows in the room.  I've ordered this lovely buffalo check in black and cream to make panels for the windows.  We will use our usual outdoor fence post rods to hang them.

I have hung a gallery wall of sorts already on the large wall that is next to the windows...

I also moved the antique sewing table from the library along with two Nichols & Stone chairs for Sara to have a spot to write at and play games with her friends.

I am planning on ordering a small sectional from PB Teen to give her a place to sit and watch tv.  I want to leave enough room for her to dance- the girl loves to dance :)

I visited an estate sale yesterday and found this lovely Empire dresser.  Well, it will be lovely after I get all of the peeling veneer off of it and give it a fresh coat of chalk paint.  It will also be the perfect way to house all of Sara's photo albums, movies, games and her cd collection. 

The dresser also has a large mirror.

Oh veneer.   I've found that using heat/steam is the best way to get this stuff off of a piece.

Lastly, we will purchase a larger television for the room.  Sara loves to play xbox Just Dance, so a larger screen will accommodate that.   We won't hook it up to the cable, because even now we love to watch tv as a family.  I don't seem to mind the kids gaming in their room, but there is just something so nice about all of us sitting together to watch a show and I don't want that to go away.

The bottom line in decorating, or in how we handle life's curve balls in general, is that it is personal.  What works for one doesn't work for another.  We all have different tastes, ideas of what is perfect, and what is "good" in styles.  But it's important to remember that behind the shiny perfect facade of a picture or a blog is a real life with all of it's ups and downs and hurts and joys.  Choose your words wisely,  and be kind with your comments.  Be the person to lift someone up, not the one to kick them when they are down. 

As I tell my kids, "Be the cream".  

This & That...

*Warning*...This post is probably going to be all over the place. 

 David, our oldest, left for Illinois on Saturday for three weeks of job training.  When he gets back he will be running the store as a GM.  He had to sign a one year contract, so his plan is to work, buy a car, and then sock away the rest of the money for college.  He just doesn't know for sure what he wants to do and I am all for him taking a year to figure it out.  I really think we are kidding ourselves to think that 18 year old kids know what they want to do for the rest of their lives.  I don't even know what I want to do for the rest of my life!  We are just so proud of how far he's come in one year.  This brilliant boy of ours has turned out to be a joy to be around.

Right now I am reading this.  It is one of those books that I find yummy- the details of life during the Regency period.   I'm a huge Jane Austen fan. This book does not disappoint. 

I'm still painting- but have slowed down a bit due to kids & events.  This seems to be a busy time of year in school and with extracurricular activities.

This girl's 21st birthday is just around the corner....time to start party planning!

I really think I am going to sell this big chair....I moved it into our living room, but the size and scale is just too large for that spot.  Time to let it go, so if you are in the Houston area and are interested just email me :)

These kids make me so proud to be their mom.  The other night I just sat back and watched them interact- joking with each other, encouraging each other- being kind and meaning it.  I love capturing that from the other side of the lens...

Thank you to each and every one of you who visits here each day.  I love that you stop by to see what's going on in this little cottage, and I read each comment and try to comment back :)

Have a lovely day!

Embracing Mommyhood

I am not a "natural mom"  by that I mean that I am not very coddle like, nurturing, or lovey.  Even still, I always knew that I wanted to be a mom.

Growing up I had the best example of what a mom should be.  My mom made homemade cakes and gave the best birthday parties, teaching me that birthdays were special.  Holidays were made memorable by how she would buy the PERFECT gifts for us, ones that said she really knew us and that she took the time to think about how the gift would fit our interests.  My mom would drive us to the bus stop (literally outside our driveway and to the corner stop sign) and sit with us in the car if it rained so that we would not get wet waiting.  She packed lunches that screamed I LOVE YOU, both in the food content and the little notes she put in them for us to read later.  I never wanted for anything and I always knew how much my mom loved me.  I still do.

Hunter gave me a mother's day card this morning that read:  "Relax mom, do not do schoolwork."  That message resonated with me, especially now.  I am not returning to teaching full time next year, instead I will tutor and substitute teach.  As much as I love teaching, I realized that my children at home needed me more.  It was painful to give that up, but I know that my kids need to come first.  When I went back into the classroom four years ago I thought that it was the perfect time as a mom since my kids were getting older.  I was so wrong...it seems the tween and teen years are ones that require more of my attention and availability.  I need to be more present for them, and more open to enjoying the years I have left with my kids at home.   I am pretty sure that making this decision was the best mother's day gift I could have ever given myself.

Now I am off to spend time with my family and enjoy the day.  I hope you are doing the same!

Boys Bunks...

Travis completed the ladder and rails on the boy's bunk beds over the weekend.  We had designed a different type of ladder and rails, but that didn't work out.  So we did what we always do...in an "oh crap" moment we redesigned them and I love it!

"Look ma!  I'm king of the world!"

Light fixture by Travis

West Elm curtain rod & drop cloth drapes

Now we just have to tackle the other side of the room to give the boys some built in storage for their games & television.  This has been a HUGE project, but so worth it : o )

Life change and Lucille Ball...

   I have always prided myself on having a good work ethic.  I show up early and pour my heart into what I do.  To me my job was the best- something that I loved so much that it never really felt like a job.  Until this year.  Suddenly I looked around and realized that what I had been pouring my heart into for the past four years was slowly taking  a toll on myself, my marriage, my friendships, and worst of all, my own children.   I was so busy helping my students improve their game that by the time I got home I had nothing left to give to my own children.  I found myself not liking the "mom-me" very much, and constantly referring to myself as "mother of the year" in a sarcastic way.
   I tried to balance.  Not so much.  I seem to have workaholic issues there.  I bought a new day planner, thinking (stupidly) that if I wrote more things down I would be able to be more "present" for my kids.  Um, not so much there either.  I started cooking dinner each night.  A good thing, but lawsy mercy I'm tired by the end of it!
  So I put my notice in.  I resigned.  This will be my last year teaching in the public school system.  I'm happy and at peace about my decision and feel that of all the years to end with, this is the best one ever.  Third grade is an amazing grade to teach, and I have a fabulous group of children and parents to work with.
   I don't really know what the future holds for me, and for once in my life I'm okay with it.  That unknown factor kind of gets me excited by all the possibilities that could be waiting for me just around the corner.   Spending real time with my family and doing some repair work on my relationships will take priority. Learning to love myself again as a wife and mom gives me faith that everything else will just fall into place.

Cottage Christmas...

  It's funny how subtle the changes each year are in my family regarding Christmas.  One year you are trying to get your overly excited kids to go to bed Christmas eve, and before you know it they are sleeping in on Christmas day....

  Hunter was pretty excited about a few gifts he received...

as was David...

Does anyone else put an orange in the toe of the stocking?  My mom did when we were kids, and it's a tradition I've continued.  They asked me a few years ago why I did it, and I told them that it's for the simple reason that it rounds the stocking toe out nicely ; o )

 Travis made pancakes for breakfast...

Sleepy Chef...

Jack was excited to open his stocking...

Anne made cards for all of us ; o )

All in all it was a fun and relaxing day.  I'm looking forward to continuing our family traditions into next year!