The nose knows...

Every once in a while I receive an email or IG comment asking me questions about our renovations, or where I found an item for the house.   This week I got an email asking me something a little more personal.  I'm an open book kind of person, and although I don't put it all on the blog I am always willing to share how I came to be who I am if asked.

"Laura" emailed me a question about piercing my nose.  I love that she is thouroughly thinking the decision through.  I'm a little more of a "eh, let's do this!" without thinking kind of girl.  She asked some great questions, so I thought I'd share them with you.


Tricia,

Was reading another blog and came across your comment, "...I'm 45, quit my teaching job, pierced my nose and I paint with our oldest daughter who has Down Syndrome." Hope you don't mind writing you.  I found your blog, and love your dedication to family and homeschooling!  

As I read your blog, I noticed you have a pierced nose and I just keep dreaming about one.  You're one step ahead having gone ahead and done yours.   Wherever I see your face and your nose stud, its just perfect in your nose and makes your face truly light up. Admit to a little envy.   I  love it.  

For me, getting my nose pierced  has been on my bucket list since college and now is # 1 as one of those  " Things to do before 40. Also, I'm preoccupied with getting a nose piercing:) Am I crazy? 

I've put having my nose on the back burner since college (FUNNY STORY AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST). I've always thought of as a tiny bit of self-expression, a smidgen of rebellion, and a sprinkle of hope that I’ll ...have a bit of freedom and independence that I so crave. Recently, I've had this dream with a sparkly stud in my nose. Unfortunately, when I woke up, it wasn't there! I've been trying to get up the nerve to do it. Have to admit that seeing your pretty face,  and cute, small nose stud has provided a sense of inspiration and realism to my quest. Am not sure what has spurned my dream nor strong desire to have it done. 

I  don't know if you had this problem., but I keep obsessing about getting a nose piercing and keep promising myself to just get it done. However, I keep searching for reasons that an almost 40 something  woman should get her nose pierced facing this dilemma, but still wanting to feel sexy and attractive to my husband. I've always really liked the idea of a small nose stud, but I never did it because I'm was afraid what others might think..

Wonder if maybe I'm a bit too old to just be getting my nose pierced. I'm 39. I know people my age who have them, but they've had them quite a while. I kept going through the tough question, "...am I too old?" Would this look like a mid-life crisis thing [?] I keep seeing others in their late 40's, 50's and even one women with all grey hair, cut short who must have been 60+.

Am searching for some advice when you had your nose pierced. I suspect you faced all these questions, so I hope you won't mind me asking:

What was the " tipping point " that made you finally go ahead and do it unlike me constantly obsessing about it?

Was there an event or person who influenced you to go ahead and have it done or " I had it done because____"

Well Laura, there is a story behind the nose piercing.  There are a couple of reasons I did it, but have not shared much here.  

A few years ago I quit teaching public school.  It was an easy decision for me because after five years of struggling to conform and fit in, it was apparent that my way of thinking and teaching was never going to fit the mainstream school system.  I believe that instead of taking a child and identifying his/her deficits, we should identify their strengths and build on that.  Public schools like to figure out what you suck at and then jam it down your throat until you not only suck at something, but you despise it as well.  I saw it first hand with my own children, and then from the inside as a teacher.  When I finally quit and pulled our youngest out to homeschool it felt liberating, and also like I'd survived a near death experience.  Trying to fit in and changing who I was took a toll on me.  A few years of therapy and the freedom to be creative and teach the way I knew it needed to be done fixed that.  

During the time that I was teaching our youngest daughter was going through some problems of her own.  I'm not going to go completely into what her issues were here, because it's her story to tell, but I will say that it was a very scary couple of years for us and I was so worried we were going to lose her.   While she was in therapy the therapist suggested that we do some mom/daughter bonding activities.  Anne suggested piercings.  I was thinking pedicures.  

At the piercing studio I kept looking at all the pictures of piercings and tried to imagine what would be "appropriate" for a forty something woman.  Whose to say what that is exactly, but  I had always admired nose piercings and thought that if I just put a teensy stud in then it would be hardly noticeable.  Anne held my hand as the piercer marked and pierced my nose.  It hurt, but not in a pass out from the pain kind of way.  Afterwards it felt like something was in my nose, but now I forget that the screw stud is even there.  

Why did I do it?  Well, for a few reasons. 

1. Because I could.  I was no longer expected to look a certain way for anyone other than myself.

2.  It was a cool bonding experience with my daughter.  I held her hand, she held mine- and it's cool that we got to experience that together.  It was one of the first steps to mending our relationship. 

3.  I felt that it was an expression of my artistic/non-conformist side.  I don't fit the mold and I am very okay with that.  

4.  If not now, when?  So what if I'm in my 40's?  It's my nose and I may rock this piercing right into my 70's.  

Did it hurt and how long have you had your nose pierced?

Yep, it hurt, but only for a little bit.  It felt like a shot really, and then nothing.  

Did you have it done with a needle or one of those newer piercing instrument that looks like a gun? Your placement is perfect on your nose.

The pierced used a needle.  He marked it and had a good eye for placement.  Go to someone reputable whose work you have seen firsthand. 

How did you decide left or right?

I chose the right side because I sleep on my left side.  I knew I would not wear a hoop, so I didn't want to be rubbing my face on my pillow and wake up missing the screw stud.  I don't take it off much, it makes me squeamish to mess with it, lol!

How did you find a piercer?

I went to a local piercer who has a very good reputation.  Anne had several of her piercings done there and the guy was very nice.

Did they numb your nose?

Nope.  And they don't do that as a rule. Part of the experience of tattoos and piercings is the pain.  I'm not a fan of pain and this one didn't hurt much.

How did you chose the size of your nose stud (yours looks great)?

I literally went with the tiniest nose stud I could find.  Anne jokes that it is a "diamond flake".

Was your husband supportive of your decision?

Absolutely- and he is very honest with me.  I'd love to actually get a nose job one day and he always tells me no.   Piercings and tats are okay in our family.  (but apparently me having a smaller nose isn't!)

Was it worth it?

Yes.

Would you do it again?

Yes, I would.

How did friends and family handle it? Were they supportive?

My 87 year old dad told me it was a phase and I'd outgrow it.  No one else really commented on it.  I didn't make a big deal out of it so they didn't either.

How  did you feel and are you still happy with the decision?

At first I felt a bit self conscious about it, because I just wasn't used to seeing anything on the side of my nose.  The starter stud looked HUGE to me, but once I was able to put a smaller one in I hardly notice it now.

Ever thought of wearing a nose ring vs. stud?

I'm not a fan of the nose ring.  It looks so pirate like to me.  I love the nose studs and have admired them since I was a little girl.  I'm not a big jewelry person, so the tiny stud fits me.

Seeing how cute your look with your nose pierced, have you inspired other women to get their noses pierced too?

Laura, if you pierce yours then yes.  Other than that I don't think any of my friends have run out to pierce anything!

Am I  crazy at almost  40 wanting my nose pierced?

This wasn't my first body piercing.  I had my belly button and eyebrow pierced when I was in my 20's.  In high school I was that punk rock girl with the pierced lip.  Whose to say what age is okay for what type of self expression?  I like my little nose piercing- it fits me and my personality.  I really don't give a flip what someone else thinks of it, so in short, no you are not crazy.

Tricia, You seem to have mastered the difficulties and suspect your are still loving your nose stud. Am really wanting of a nose ring, but will settle for a teeny, tiny, diamond stud to feel special and pretty and feminine.

Thanks in advance for any help.

Laura

So tiny you can hardly see it ; )

I hope that answered your questions, and I really hope you just jump in and do it!  How we dress, wear our hair, the jewelry we choose- all of that is an expression of who we are.  Be true to YOU and don't worry about what the rest of the flock are doing.  Chances are they are all looking at you wishing they could be a little more expressive ;)

Strike...

My husband's company is on strike.  You may have heard a bit about it in the news.  We got the call last Saturday at midnight.  I'm not going to lie- it's been stressful and my head is a bit foggy.

We have spent the week staying busy- me with homeschooling and Travis has been playing handyman for one of my dear friends.  This woman was so sweet to message me on FB and ask if Travis wanted to earn a little extra money.  Honestly, I value the fact that his hands and mind are busy over any money he could earn right now.  He is pretty emotional about all of this, and strangely enough I am playing the part of the calm one.  (don't ask me how!)

I just checked my comments a while ago and someone, anonymously of course, was kind enough to point out that I had misspelled a word in my last post.  Thank you for that.  I think it's good to remind myself that I'm not perfect, because I'm not.  (i before e, except after c!) 

Travis has been working his shift on the picket line, and we both participated in our first rally yesterday.  I gotta tell you,  I was never in a sorority or group in college, but this feeling of solidarity and rooting for something bigger than yourself?  Well, that was just plain cool.

I've had a week to put in the books.  A few "friends" spouted off their opinions of unions to me (which really, fine- have an opinion, just don't voice it to the girl whose husband is out of work due to a strike!), we do not have health insurance right now which means I will probably get the worst sinus infection of my life (kidding, sort of), and I have receieved a few hate comments on various social media sites.  Nothing like kicking someone when they are down, right?

But it's all good.   On the flip side, the week also brought me laughter with one of my best friends when I really needed it, a part time job offer for me that would be flexible and still allow me to homeschool,  lazy mornings with my husband and conversation over coffee, and so many supportive and lovely messages from IG and FB friends.

We may go ahead and start our laundry room build- may as well get a few to-do's knocked off the list since Travis is home.   Do me a favor- go out today and build someone up- we have enough tearing down going on right now.

One little word...

I decided a long time ago that resolutions for the new year were just too detailed for my liking.  Last year's word was "togetherness", and honestly the year couldn't have played out any further from that word.  I had a falling out with my mother, my daughter moved out to live with her dad and I rarely hear from my oldest son.  It was the year of loss in my opinion, but out of that loss I became closer to my husband, Sara and youngest son.  Togetherness did happen, just not in the way I had anticipated.

This years little word is "explore".  One of the reasons we moved/down-sized was to free ourselves up financially so that we could travel more.  I've taken a few small trips this year- alone, and Travis is planning a trip with Hunter in the spring.  We are paying off our remodeling costs, but have plans for more travels once that is payed off this year.   Explore is more than just traveling to me, it's looking at things in a different way and recognizing beauty and opportunity because I have intentionally slowed down the pace of life.  I no longer lead a rushed and busy life style.  Mornings are slower, days are intentional and evenings are enjoyed.  I guess I've been exploring for the past three years, and in doing so I've found a happier pace- a happier place.

What is your one little word for 2015?

The price of happiness...

Over the past two and a half years I've made some major changes in my life.  I quit my job, moved to a smaller/less expensive house, and started living my life for me.  The difference those changes have made in my happiness have been evident in who I now am and how I think about things.  I know that what I've done is extreme, and not an option for everyone, but I wanted to share a bit about how I came to be where I am now- happy.

When I became a public school teacher I really thought that it would make me feel productive, accomplished and that I was doing something worthwhile with my time and talent.  I couldn't have been more off the mark.  I was stretched thin, compromising my values, and spinning my wheels.  I was miserable.  So after talking to Travis and reviewing our finances, I quit.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE teaching, but being a teacher has very little to do with the love of teaching and a whole lot to do with beaurocratic politics.  It's a disservice to children and most days I came home knowing that what I was spending my days doing was not worthwhile.  In the salary department I was not making enough to justify me working- seriously, between going out to eat, doctor visits/meds, and paying to supply my classroom I was paying them to be there.  It also threw us into a wonky tax bracket, so quitting was not a difficult financial decision to make.

Today I still teach.  I am homeschooling our 13 year old son, and my daughter Sara has aged out of special education and is home with us as well.   I still teach classes for homeschool kiddos, run a middle school aged book club and I absolutely love the freedom I have to teach in a way that is beneficial for children.   Teaching is a big part of my life- but it's not all of it and allows me to have time to pursue other interests....balance.

I have always been the creative type- especially where home and decorating are concerned.  I do decorating consults when asked, and although I don't advertise,  those requests come in on a steady basis.

I paint- a lot.  Furniture, signs with Sara for the Happy Soul Project, and just for fun.  Painting relaxes me and is one of my favourite hobbies.  I have time for that now which feeds me creatively as well as provides a bit of income for Sara.

Last year we surprised a lot of people when after our magazine photo shoot we listed our house for sale.  The little cottage on the pond was a beautiful home, but it was a bit big for what we needed and more money going out each month that we thought we could use better elsewhere- as in traveling.   We sold the house rather quickly and spent the summer remodeling our tiny tudor (1500 sq ft) and making it a "just right" home for us.  We love the smaller floor plan, no wasted space, and zero yard to maintain.  Not to mention that living here saves us what most people pay per month for an entire house.  Financially it was a very smart move.  We are also within walking distance of stores and restaurants and have taken advantage of that more than we ever did in a traditional subdivision.

Making these changes has changed me.  I used to wake up feeling anxious and worried, I now wake up and feel relaxed and optimistic about my day.  I've given myself the gift of choice and variety in what I do.  I say no to things that I don't want to do, and make more time for doing what I love. I enjoy things more, complain less, and feel content with my life.  I'm probably busier now than I was when I was working full time, so please don't think that the happiness I've found is because I'm home doing nothing.  My day planner is full with volunteering, teaching, decorating, painting, and homeschooling.  I didn't lighten my load, I just raised my standards for what could be in my cart.

So what is the price of happiness?   It's priceless.

Schlumpy...

We are almost sixty five days into Travis' turnaround schedule.  He's beyond tired, and honestly I am too.  He describes it as Groundhog Day, and I see it more like Mr. Mom.   I'm doing all the parenting jobs, household jobs, homeschooling jobs, and everything inbetween.  Forget a push present for having four kids- there should be a TAR present.  We are hoping that the schedule only goes until mid November and then he can return to his normal shift schedule.  Fingers crossed.

I'm trying to get into decorating, projects and such, but honestly?  I'm just feeling schlumpy.  I wake up and unload the dishwasher, feed/walk dogs, help Sara with her hair, check email, work with Hunter, go to the grocery store, fold and put away towels, do laundry, clean house, cook twice a day, and teach class on Thursdays.  The thought of doing a project just makes me want to take a nap.

I see people on Pinterest and blogs and they are busy creating wreaths,  glittering pine cones, writing books, and building stuff.  I just don't have it in me right now, and instead of telling myself that it's okay, I find myself feeling less than adequate like I don't measure up, and that really makes me want to take a nap.

There's a lot of pressure we put on ourselves as wives, moms, bloggers- creative types.  That somehow we should always be producing something, but the older I get the more I realize that it's okay to have periods where you just don't.  (at least that is what I'm telling myself!)   I know that once this crazy schedule is over I will get my mojo back.

I hope...

This and that...

I have a few decorating posts in the works, but I wanted to pop in to say that my courtyard posts are mostly in jest.  One cannot avoid picking up on other's quirks- that is just human nature, as we are all quirky in our own ways.  Living in such close proximity to others seems to amplify the quirkiness and I thought it would be fun to share some of the stories.  We love this little community, colourful residents and all ;)  This is the neighborhood I grew up in and I knew going into this little area that it was going to be entertaining.  We have been very lucky to have met some lovely neighbors and we are looking forward to getting more involved with our homeowners association.

I've been going through some personal stuff, health related and family related.  I've had to severly limit my interactions with one family member in particular.  It's toxic and I just had to put a stop to it.   Letting go of something, even if the realness of it was imaginary, is tough.   I'm just not going to cry over someone who wouldn't notice if I went missing.  I'm working through it, as it is a process, and I will be okay.

As for the health front, I'm taking care of that too.  It turns out that my heart wasn't the issue, it is in fact pulmonary.  I've never smoked, but my lungs seem to think that I was a three pack a day girl.  Scary for someone who is an asthmatic and biggest fear is not being able to breath.   It's going to be okay, and I am thankful for a supportive husband and wonderful kids.

Travis continues to work his turnaround schedule.  It's going to go a bit longer than planned, but hey- it's a job- and a good one at that.   We are adjusting to the schedule and the days are quiet with lots of reading and learning going on.

I'm hoping to paint Sara's gallery wall this week.  I haven't painted since we moved in and I feel the itch ;)

Take care, and as always- thanks for reading and checking in on me.

An apple a day...

So last week ended with a trip to the doctor for me.  I was having dizziness getting up from a lying position, and shortness of breath when I was laying down.  Yeah, I know.

An EKG confirmed what I suspected- right bundle block in the heart.  My doctor was not comfortable sending me home, so I took a trip over to our local hospital ER.  EKG was confirmed abnormal and blood work showed that I have an elevated d dimer which is a fibrin degradation product- a small protein fragment present in the blood after a blood clot is degraded by fibrinolysis.  In short, pulmonary thrombosis.  Yeah, I know.

A cat scan showed that there were no clots in the lungs.  Good news, but why the elevated d dimer?  Why the abnormal EKG?  I'm seeing a cardiologist this week.  Given my family history, heart stuff was to be expected with me- but at 46 it seems a little soon.

I'm going to take a bit of a blog break this week until I figure out what is going on with me.  I feel like Dr.House and the internet has way too much information for a person like me.  You should have seen me as a psychology major.  I was ready to check myself into the nearest institution, because I was sure I had every psychosis and neurosis in the book.  

I'll keep y'all posted.  Until then, have a great week!

Shutting a door...

I'm trying to be more open and honest on this blog.   It is not easy for me, since I did share openly once and it bit me in the ass.   Then I thought, ridiculous!  This is my blog and I own my story.

I've had some family stuff going on with a very close extended family member who decided to push me aside to accommodate another family member's feelings.  This wouldn't have been so hurtful to me if I wasn't the one who actually lives near this family member and does so much with/for them.

It basically comes down to if there is another sickness, hospital stay or a death- I am not to be there.   Never mind the fact that I live ten minutes from this person, talk every day to this person, take trips with this person, or come running when they need something.  The fact that I thought we had a friendship, a real relationship doesn't seem to matter when this other family member decides to breeze into town after not calling, not visiting for over three years- not even bothering to answer the phone when called.

I've cried ugly tears while my husband held me.  I've lost sleep, gotten angry, and wanted to punch someone.  Then after all of that a wave of peace passes over me and I'm okay with it.  I love the saying, "Never push a loyal person to the point of not giving a damn".  That's how I feel right now.  I always suspected that if this other person did show up I would be pushed aside, now that it's been confirmed I feel a sense of relief almost.  At least I know where I stand, and I wasn't crazy for thinking it all those years.

My husband loves me, my children love me and I have friends who love me.  I'm not going to waste any more time chasing after the affections of someone who clearly doesn't reciprocate.

I love myself enough to shut the door.

In the now...

I was reading this post by Miss.Mustard Seed the other day and boy, how it resonated with me!   She was talking about being present in the moment- enjoying the now, and not just looking forward to the next big thing.  That is a struggle for people like us who are so project oriented.  I am a list maker, a goal setter- a DOER.   Going over the list of things to do and crossing off what has been completed has always been a huge part of who I am and how I think.  I am very task oriented in both my professional and private life.

The book of life...

Quitting teaching was so incredibly liberating for me.  For the first year I lived my life much like someone who had experienced a close brush with death, because for me it felt just like that.  I was suffocating creatively and not able to achieve the goals I had set for myself.  In short, many lists were made, but very little was crossed off.  I was dying.  Leaving that environment and letting myself breathe creatively was the smartest thing I've ever done.  Now I teach, but in a way that is creative and fulfilling for me, but also directly meets the needs of my students and feeds them creatively.   I couldn't be happier.

I've also learned to embrace the process that happens between making my list and crossing it off.  I used to be so impatient for that line to be scratched in my planner, but now I really wake up each day and look forward to the small steps that will be accomplished.  Glitches and hiccups that used to irritate me, now give me an opportunity to embrace problem solving and push me in my creative thinking.  I've flipped the lens so to speak, and try to live in the moment (even the upsetting ones) and truly feel what is going on around me instead of looking to the finished product.  In doing that I find that I enjoy the finish so much more because I took the time to relish the during.  

I'm not a happiness expert, but making this slight change in how I view a project, and really paying attention to finding joy in the process has made all the difference in the world for me.  Instead of thinking, "When we get moved in...." or "When that gets built/finished..." and picturing the happy moment happening then, I now realize that it's in the day to day, the hiccups and glitches, the process.

It is there that the joy lies waiting to be discovered.

Authenticity...

Yesterday was lovely- I had the best time with my family, which included all four of my kids, and with teens it's something harder to orchestrate than a Kardashian wedding these days.   Between riding the rides, talking, walking the boardwalk and sitting down for a long lunch- it was in short, a perfect day.

My family will be the first to tell you that I spend way too much time on-line, on my phone- instagramming and blogging.  I admit it too.  I try to adhere to having the phone put away during meals and tv time, but other than that- I am plugged in 24/7.   I guess it's my desire to document, to capture these moments of my kids growing up, and away from me.   To capture the beauty I see in our cottage, not because it's the most glamourous or beautiful, but because I have made such an effort to be in the now and to soak it all up, that it really is the most lovely place I can imagine being.

My word for the new year was "togetherness", and three months in I can honestly say that we are following through like nobody's business.  But in that togetherness there is something else that is bubbling to the surface- authenticity.  It's been real here lately, with me, the kids, my husband- in a way that I didn't expect, but makes total sense given all the "togetherness" we have experienced.

I have so many things I want to write about, share, explain, and hopefully inspire others who are in the same boat, but feel like putting it out there would be too honest- too authentic.   The blog, it is changing.  It is going to be more me, more sharing- more authenticity.  Don't worry though, a huge part of who I am, who we are- is DIY, design, redoing, changing, and revision.  I just want to balance it out with some of what I struggle with, where I've been and where I am going.

As my grandma used to say, "Sometimes you just gotta put yourself out there."

Here goes...

This & that...

Well hello there.

I've been spotty about posting at best.  Just so many things going on over here that I have not had the time to write. Or take pictures.  Or...  you get the idea.

Junk Hippy went very well.  I sold most of my large pieces of furniture.  This pink dresser sold in the first ten minutes!  It was painted in Country Chic Paint in Vintage Cupcake...

I also got to meet one of my blog readers!  What a lovely experience to meet face to face with someone who was so kind with her words :)  

Sara is busy with social engagements this month.  Lots of date nights, and a Mardi Gras dance that she went to in Galveston with her boyfriend, William.

I am working on a few new things and was chosen to be on the Country Chic Paint 2014 Blogger Squad!  So very excited to be working with this company and some amazing bloggers :)

 
My first project is sitting out in the garage....but it will have to wait for a bit since I am going in for surgery on Monday.  Yep.  Monday.  I know I will be down for at least a week, but I am hoping to get back to painting soon after.

I bought this to keep me company, and if you are a huge Downton fan like I am, I highly recommend it.  I love mixing non-fiction informational reads with historical fiction pieces to get a better understanding of the time period.  It's very well written and chock full of insight as to how these large manors were run.

I'm teaching today at the University, so I will leave you with this...

I've had so many lovely opportunities come my way and have enjoyed encouraging others to pursue what makes their heart happy.  Thanks for reading and encouraging me as well :)

Be the cream...

I was visiting one of my favourite blogs this weekend that features other blogger's homes.  I love peeking in and seeing how people create their vision of "home" and although many of the homes are not my style, I appreciate them nonetheless.  I was appalled to see that some readers left negative comments, and my heart hurt for the homeowner who would undoubtedly read those mean words about their personal sanctuary.  I still find myself baffled when a person leaves a negative comment on a blog.  Be it about the decorating, colour choices, personal choices or even grammar and spelling mistakes.   I always think, "Really?", because I find that cowardly and unnecessary.  Usually it's anonymous, and I guess that makes the person behind the hurtful words feel brave, but I find it sad for them.   How empty one's life must be to lash out at strangers.  Like our mommas taught us,  "If you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at all".

Y'all were so sweet with your words of understanding and advice regarding our empty room.  I took the original post down about the room, not really sure why, but I did.  It felt too personal, too raw- I've spent the past several years censoring myself.  When I quit teaching I vowed to not do that anymore- I am who I am, and I won't be made to feel ashamed of that.  But I'm human, and retraining myself is not always easy.  The journey of recovery is not that clear cut.

I've moved a few things into the room, and out of the room, and back into the room.  Waking up in the middle of the night in a full blown panic attack over using velcro on the wall to hang something, knowing in the morning light that the panic attack wasn't really about adhesive at all.

Decorating is a funny thing.  It's more than just creating a pretty space, for me it's therapy.  A lot of us arrange, rearrange, scour pages of decorating inspiration, watch HGTV, and are always on the hunt for that special piece to complete a space.   We pop over to blogs and see perfect, at their best, shiny photos of rooms that look flawless.  And we compare ours to theirs.  I'm guilty of that as I am sure many of y'all are too.  It's just human for us to want to put our best face on for society, you only have to read annual Christmas letters to see evidence of people doing just that.

I've mentioned before that I have been married three times.  My second marriage was a decision made out of necessity and a desire to fix what I had screwed up the first time.  I was a single mom to a daughter with Down Syndrome.  I needed a man who could provide stability, integrity- and good health care.  I loved him, but not in a "let's get married and spend eternity together" kind of way.  I'm not putting anything on here that hasn't been shared with him, in fact we are now very good friends.  But while we were married, it was a catastrophe.  I remember decorating and redecorating the bedroom.  New drapes, bedspreads, bathroom accessories- pretty much every few months.  Looking back on it I can see why- underneath it all I was trying to decor-fix our marriage.  It was broken and ugly, and so I thought a new coverlet and some paint would make it all better.  Not my smartest therapy moments, but I've learned since then.

Which brings me back to the empty room.  I'm hurt, but I'm also a very practical person.  The room is empty, and just wasted space in our cottage.  I'm not okay with leaving it that way, and Sara has already started to send clear messages that she wants that room.   She keeps dragging her bean bag with her books to read in there.   So I started to pull a few things in and thinking about how we could best design the room for her.  Her bedroom is tiny and she loves to hang out in there singing, drawing, reading and talking to her boyfriend on the phone.  She needs a living room of sorts, so here is my plan:

There are two windows in the room.  I've ordered this lovely buffalo check in black and cream to make panels for the windows.  We will use our usual outdoor fence post rods to hang them.

I have hung a gallery wall of sorts already on the large wall that is next to the windows...

I also moved the antique sewing table from the library along with two Nichols & Stone chairs for Sara to have a spot to write at and play games with her friends.

I am planning on ordering a small sectional from PB Teen to give her a place to sit and watch tv.  I want to leave enough room for her to dance- the girl loves to dance :)

I visited an estate sale yesterday and found this lovely Empire dresser.  Well, it will be lovely after I get all of the peeling veneer off of it and give it a fresh coat of chalk paint.  It will also be the perfect way to house all of Sara's photo albums, movies, games and her cd collection. 

The dresser also has a large mirror.

Oh veneer.   I've found that using heat/steam is the best way to get this stuff off of a piece.

Lastly, we will purchase a larger television for the room.  Sara loves to play xbox Just Dance, so a larger screen will accommodate that.   We won't hook it up to the cable, because even now we love to watch tv as a family.  I don't seem to mind the kids gaming in their room, but there is just something so nice about all of us sitting together to watch a show and I don't want that to go away.

The bottom line in decorating, or in how we handle life's curve balls in general, is that it is personal.  What works for one doesn't work for another.  We all have different tastes, ideas of what is perfect, and what is "good" in styles.  But it's important to remember that behind the shiny perfect facade of a picture or a blog is a real life with all of it's ups and downs and hurts and joys.  Choose your words wisely,  and be kind with your comments.  Be the person to lift someone up, not the one to kick them when they are down. 

As I tell my kids, "Be the cream".  

Finding my cup of tea...

One of the things I say a lot is, "that's just not my cup of tea".

I tend to speak like an 85 year old woman.  This fact does not escape me.

How do you know what it is that you are supposed to be doing?  How do you find "your cup of tea?"

I love to paint.
I love to decorate.
I love to peruse beauty in magazines, Pinterest, Instagram, blogs.
I love to organize.
I love to cook yummy meals.
I love to fluff the cottage.
I love to grow things.
I love to design.

I used to worry so much about having a "job", but the truth is that what I do here each day is a job.  A real job.  Maybe not one with a huge paycheck, but it definitely pays me back in other ways.

This morning I read this:

You are without a doubt, right smack dab in the middle of God’s will when you are doing all the things you do everyday to serve the people around you.
Read more at Life in Grace

And it so resonated with me.  I was a teacher, then left that and felt pressured to work, have a job- a career.  But really, what makes me happy is being a homemaker.  I love making a home.  Teaching my son, cooking, fluffing/decorating/arranging.  It is my job. The best job.

My cup of tea.

Monster in the closet...

I have not enjoyed shopping since the late 1980's.  I'm not even kidding.  I buy things on-line when I have to and just the thought of going to a mall makes me break out in hives.  Over the years I have found myself dreading going to events and even duck out of going just because "I don't have anything to wear!"

Part of the problem was that I grew up and out of the way I was comfortable dressing.

This is Madonna, but I am pretty sure I owned that jacket.  And I know I owned the bracelets...

Then I was reading one of my fav blogs Miss Mustard Seed and she was brave enough to write about her own clothes crises here.  Her words really struck a chord with me.  I found myself too young for Chico's and too old for Forever 21, so I just gave up trying.  I was stuck in the middle of my own clothing crises and it was time to do something about it.

So I contacted the lovely women who helped Marian.  Meet Ella, personal stylist of Start Close In.  My email was oozing with desperation, but since I was a desperately dressed mess, and I wanted her to see me honestly, I figured it was okay.  (Secretly I worried that she might think I was too much of a hot mess.)

She not only responded, but was so gracious to meet with me within a few days to do a virtual consult!   One of my friends asked me why I needed a stylist- that my house was so pulled together and cute.  I get that- but paint, furniture and accessories are easy for me.   I can spend money and time on my home, but myself?  Not so much.

So yesterday was the big day!  2:30 virtual consult...

This girl has personality PLUS! 

We started with this:  I pulled out pretty much everything I owned and sorted it into piles on the bed.

My closet threw up...

And we jumped right into looking at what pieces I had.  Learning how to pull my pants up, where my waist is located, and how to emphasize my hourglass shape, all while laughing and sharing stories with each other.  It felt more like I was hanging out with a good friend than trying to fix my clothing crisis.      It was freeing, funny, and you know what?  I got excited about clothes and dressing up again.  I have outfits people, outfits that I can proudly wear out!  I can't say enough about how easy it was to work with Ella, and what a genius mind the girl has when it comes to analyzing body shape- what patterns, colours, and even shoes/jewelry works well together.

As I tried on clothes and switched pieces out, Ella took notes and talked about creating a Pinterest board for me.  I felt energized and excited about getting dressed to go out that evening.   My confidence was renewed and I felt....pretty.  To be able to do that for someone else is a true gift.

Thank you, Ella.

Compare and Contrast...

One of Hunter's writing assignments last week was to compare and contrast two things that were similar and then write about it.

As I was sitting there with him it occurred to me that I do this in my head- a lot.  I compare/contrast myself with others who are in the painting biz.  My business is young, and although I stay pretty busy- I find myself comparing myself to much more established painters/business owners.  Why do I do that?

I think it's partly just human nature.  Is it that if we didn't look around at what others were doing, we wouldn't have anything to measure our own success with?  Or maybe it's just the way we are programmed from years of reading success ladders posted in grade school or gold stars on display?   Who knows?  All I know is that I tend to compare and contrast myself with others- and with Pinterest and blogs waving perfection like a banner there is so much pretty perfection out there to compare ourselves with!

I see other bloggers doing things I'd love to do- and I am happy for them, genuinely I am.  I know that some folks have more time to put into their blogs/businesses and that hard work pays off.  I blog when I can, which with kids, being a homeschool mom, teacher, and painter is sporadic at best!  I don't have time to do all the social media and technical blog stuff that some bloggers do.  I don't advertise or put advertising on my blog- I keep things pretty simple, because really it's all I have time for!

My business has grown this year.  I take a job a week and am booked up through the end of the year.  Word of mouth seems to be my best form of advertising, and I love how the domino effect works and all the interesting people I meet because of it.   I have to remind myself that my business is a "just right" size for me right now.  My kids are teens, but really need me around- and I am lucky to be able to do just that.  Hunter's education takes priority over working, and I have had so much fun getting to know him as a learner.

I think the answer to this is to look back and compare/contrast me now to me a year ago.  To focus on individual growth and not how I compare to others growth.  Easy to say, harder to implement- but a reminder now and then is a good thing.