Shutting a door...

I'm trying to be more open and honest on this blog.   It is not easy for me, since I did share openly once and it bit me in the ass.   Then I thought, ridiculous!  This is my blog and I own my story.

I've had some family stuff going on with a very close extended family member who decided to push me aside to accommodate another family member's feelings.  This wouldn't have been so hurtful to me if I wasn't the one who actually lives near this family member and does so much with/for them.

It basically comes down to if there is another sickness, hospital stay or a death- I am not to be there.   Never mind the fact that I live ten minutes from this person, talk every day to this person, take trips with this person, or come running when they need something.  The fact that I thought we had a friendship, a real relationship doesn't seem to matter when this other family member decides to breeze into town after not calling, not visiting for over three years- not even bothering to answer the phone when called.

I've cried ugly tears while my husband held me.  I've lost sleep, gotten angry, and wanted to punch someone.  Then after all of that a wave of peace passes over me and I'm okay with it.  I love the saying, "Never push a loyal person to the point of not giving a damn".  That's how I feel right now.  I always suspected that if this other person did show up I would be pushed aside, now that it's been confirmed I feel a sense of relief almost.  At least I know where I stand, and I wasn't crazy for thinking it all those years.

My husband loves me, my children love me and I have friends who love me.  I'm not going to waste any more time chasing after the affections of someone who clearly doesn't reciprocate.

I love myself enough to shut the door.

Teen life...

Ever have one of those weeks (okay, two weeks) where it feels like your life plate is so full that you ought to trade up to the LouAnne platter?

Yeah.  Like that.

As I drifted off to sleep last night I mumbled something to Travis about how I wish the kids were still in diapers.  Things were so easy then,  (no they weren't, but hindsight is always like a Hallmark commercial) and that teenagers are hard.  I may have whined and held out the word "hard" longer than required.  Travis just patted my hand, told me he loved me and proceeded to snore.  Does anyone else's husband fall asleep in less than three seconds?  He could medal in the Olympics at falling asleep.

I do have some great posts in mind and I will be back soon.  I just need a few more days to catch my breath and well, breathe.

Holiday break...

Thank you to each of you who drop by to read this little blog, and especially to those who take time out of their busy day to leave a thoughtful comment.  I am very grateful for the opportunities that have come my way and how my talents have become my "job".  Doesn't get much better than that!

From my family to yours- have a very happy and safe holiday season!

Super suit...

The kids and I watched The Incredibles the other day.  I love that scene where Frozone calls out to his wife, "Woman, where is my super suit?"  Cracks me up every time.

My husband has a super suit...

These are what's known in the oil refinery industry as "FRC's"  Or Fire Resistant Clothing.  Because folks, working in refineries- that is some dangerous work and fires are always a threat.

Years ago my husband lost his job.  It was his first and only "real" job out of high school.  No college, or trade school- just a city job and a hardworking guy.  He never went to college because being dyslexic and graduating high school in the 80's was not much for boosting his confidence academically.   Also, sitting in a classroom for hours a day with intensive reading?  No thanks.  He is an outdoorsy guy who is crazy talented at taking things apart, trouble shooting the problem, and putting them back together again in a way where they work better than they did originally.  He is the fix-it whisperer  of mechanical stuff.  I will hear him fussing about how "it's impossible" or "it can't be done", but like Macgyver, the man manages to make it all work.  Paperclip, chewing gum, and all.

Eventually it became apparent to him that he was going to have to go back to school.  With a wife and four kids he needed a way to provide for us.  So off to community college he went and two years later he graduated with honors and a process technology degree.  I made him get photographed wearing his cap and gown because I was so damn proud of what he had done.  He swallowed a tremendous amount of fear and just did it.

He works shift.  Not easy on the body- and has sleep issues because of it.  It's a type of swing shift, so the days on/off are not very consistent.  But he does it.  Up at 3:50 am to be on the unit by 5 am. or out the door at 4:00pm to work nights.  12 hour days, overtime, fire calls, holidays- all because he wants to give us a good life.  Are we rich?  No, not by any stretch, but we are comfortable and he is able to give our kids what they need.  His hard work has afforded me the opportunity to homeschool our son, build my little business and pursue a passion.

Watching him leave for work wearing that blue suit he looks like super hero in my eyes.

My mom's dance recital...

My mom tap dances 3-4 times per week at the age of 70.  I only hope that when I'm 70 I have half the energy (and guts!) to do the things she does :)

Christmas eve brunch...

Well technically it's Christmas eve eve brunch....but I thought I would share some pictures of the yacht club my parents have belonged to for over 30 years.  My dad kept his boat, "The Miracle" here and we grew up going to this lovely old club for family dinners and other events.  I love how they deck out the place (ha!pun!) for the holidays....

Time and money...

"Time and money are inversely proportinate -

to spend less of one you must always spend exponentially more of the other."

Elaine Griffen

This quote resonates with me lately.  I really thought that by working full time I was contributing to our financial security.  Turns out that the time I spent at my job took away from my family (and mental health) to the detriment of the people I love the most.  Nowadays as a furniture painter/refinisher I earn a third of what I used to, but find that my bank account still looks healthy and my family is happy.  It's funny to me how the things we think are "right" or "good" can be just the opposite for us.  I didn't realize in the five years I worked how much my kids still needed me and how much my husband missed me.
I feel thankful to have the time to spend with my family, the patience to work with my teen children, the flexibility to be present for them, and the chance to do something that speaks to my heart.

Dead & Dinner

Is anyone else out there as obsessed with this show as we are??

So much so that we have created a new Sunday ritual of Dead & Dinner....

We gather as a family, eat a creative and delicious meal....then glue ourselves to the television to watch the new episodes...

Who knew that zombies could bring a family together?

Bicycle built for two...

Dr. Sister is buying one of these for me today.  It's my birthday present.  I'm thinking that one way or another she is going to force me to exercise and be healthy.  I told her that the bike had to have a basket so that, you know, Jack the doxie could be fit too...

Interrupted & a birthday...

My map project has been put on hold along with some other last minute house things that I was going to try and finish up before school started.  My dad has been sick this past week, and my worry has just sucked all the decorating drive right out of me.

I am a daddy's girl.  Always have been and always will be.  Growing up, my dad was the one who "got" me mostly because we are so alike.  My dad was born in 1928, in fact today he turns 83, and has done in more with what he was given than anyone I know.  He dropped out of high school at the age of 15 to join the Marine Corps (yes, lied about his age and got in!).  While in the service he broke his foot but never said anything because he didn't want to be discharged.  To this day he has a bone spur that grows out of the bottom of his foot and he saws it off with a razor blade.  I guess once a Marine always a Marine.

Despite dropping out of school, my dad believed in the value of education.  He went back and got his GED, but instead of college he started a business from an invention he had sketched on a cocktail napkin in a bar.  That invention went on to become a very successful multi-million dollar corporation that he still consults for today.  He is an engineer in the truest sense and the most well read person I know.

My Dad has always been my hero.  He could fix anything, Macgyver style, no matter how broken it was.  If something was wrong my dad made it better.  In the hospital after giving birth to Sara and finding out she might have Down Syndrome, it was my dad who held my hand, and with tears streaming down his face he told me that it would all be ok.  And I believed him, because if Dad said it would be ok then it would.

I've been spending my evenings at my parents.  Mostly just sitting and watching old movies on TCM with my dad.  Charlie Chaplin, Bette Davis, and Humphrey Bogart have been keeping us company while my dad rests.  The conversation is sparse, but we are there together, this time me being the one to tell him it's going to be ok.

Happy Birthday Dad, and thank you for being someone I could look up to.  Thank you for giving me a  hero.

Sara's 19th birthday party...

Jack on birthday watch...

She has the fever...

Birthday flowers...

Opening Nana's gift...

Brighton earrings & bracelet...

Nana looking at Sara's baby album...

More fever....

Cake by Nana...

BFF ms.D...

Anne & David...

Hunter AKA Davy Crockett...

Good thing we have a fireman in the house...

Let them eat cake!

Still more fever...

Alarm clock!!

David & Brooke

David & Brooke

Anne AKA Annebo....