Sometimes my blog feels like a girl who just left the geeky braces and acne stage behind and is now out of braces, has clear skin, is kinda pretty, and other kids are starting to notice her. But when they look at her they only see the superficial pretty stuff, not the inner geeky ugly stuff.
I think a lot of times we read blogs and think that the life of the blogger behind them is perfect- we are shown only the pretty things at their best. I do it all the time. Fluffing, arranging and moving things before I ever snap a picture. I love my little cottage and I do take pride in keeping it clean and decorating it, but I live a rather ordinary (some would say boring) life. I pride myself on finding fun and joy in the little things and stopping now and then to just savor the moment. That is what I try to do when I blog. I don't share it all, because quite honestly with three kids in their teens it's not always so pretty!
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| If I had a nickel for every time I changed up this little watchmaker's table in the entry... |
My husband calls me a pessimist- I prefer 'realist'. Truth is that I am rather negative by nature. Especially when it comes to myself. I am my own worst critic and can beat myself to a pulp over any negative comment thrown my way. It's something that I struggle with, since being OCD complicates the issue and takes it to a whole other level! (think of a bad song playing on a loop, that is how my brain works!)
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| Is anyone else as addicted to preserved boxwoods as I am?? |
Being able to bounce back is also one of my strong suits. I have had some doozies thrown my way, and I do get knocked down, but am able to get back up. I'm working hard to look at what I've learned from a situation rather than always thinking it must be my fault or that I was a failure. Being in therapy at my age means a lot of work to undo what I have spent so many years creating. I'm up for the work- it makes me feel productive in the evolution of a better version of myself.
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| Jack wants you to know that he is not perfect either. He has male pattern baldness and usually poses in a way that you cannot see it.... |
I can be very judgmental and quick to form those judgments. I am working on slowing down and taking it all in before I react. I used to see myself as having a quick wit, but in reality it was hurtful to others- something I am working very hard at fixing.
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| Reading Life of a Bowerbird- good stuff y'all! |
Recently I found myself in the middle of an argument and I excused myself and walked away. The old me would have stuck to my position regardless of the possibility of changing that person's mind. Now I know when to stay and speak and when to just walk away. I still have strong opinions about things, but I am more open to accepting others opinions and agreeing to disagree.
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| Burlap dust ruffle. Kind of digging how it works with the burlap trim on the drapes... |
I guess my whole point in sharing all of this is to be honest and let you know that although my house may look "perfect", I am most certainly not perfect. OCD works for me in the blog world simply because of my compulsions to clean/decorate/change things/clean some more. Things always look clean and organized around here, but if I were a room I would have dust bunnies, trash, clothes on the floor,
and a half eaten pizza on my floor. Far from perfect- and that's the reality.
I'm so glad you found blogging as an outlet because I enjoy your blog. And, I think we all show photos of exactly what we want others to see. Jack is sooo cute! I loved the photo, a few posts ago with family, when he was sitting on a chair, looking at you taking the photo. Lynda
ReplyDeleteLynda- It really is an outlet for me. Sometimes I get afraid to share too much- even when I know I can't be the only one going through something!
DeleteI love this post. I am finally at a point in my life where I am able to walk away too. It's actually freeing when we realize that we can only control ourselves, and if we continue to engage in battle, at some point it becomes our own problem no matter how wrong the other person may be (or not be). And that quote is a favorite of mine too. We do each have our own personal battles we are fighting... And on a lighter note, your burlap dust ruffle is CUTE!
ReplyDeleteKim- I think it comes with age and experience. You are so right about it turning into our problem! I am digging the burlap too! It was a find from Ballard Designs :)
DeleteOMG, we are kindred spirits!
ReplyDeleteKim- It makes me feel so much better to know I'm not alone. My mom said, "Why are you being so hard on yourself? Be sure to include the good stuff!"
ReplyDeleteI'm all for keeping it real myself but it sounds like you might be too hard on yourself. None of us is perfect and we all have problems, conditions, disorders, etc. I try to be as kind to myself and those around me as I would a stranger. Isn't it funny how often you can be nicer to someone you don't know than those that are near and dear. You are trying to be a better person. I am too and no one could ask for more. Take care, J
ReplyDeleteThat is part of what I do- I am VERY hard on myself. I can receive 100 positive comments, and it will take only one negative comment for me to obsess over. I find it interesting that I go overboard to be nice to others, but am not very nice to myself. All we can do is learn, grow, and try!
DeleteOMG, you just diagnosed me!
ReplyDeleteBirds of a feather, friend ;)
DeleteYou and your blog are inspirational to me. Growth and character development are life-long processes. There's joy in the journey along with guard rails, detours, potholes, wrong turns, highway construction... You are part of my scenic route... the way you illustrate order and beauty encourages me to take fresh looks at where I'm parked or heading. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteExactly- we are all under construction when you think about it! Thank you so much for your kind words.
DeleteWow..it seems as though you just put everything I struggle with into words for me. Thanks for your transparency and honesty. I have many things to work on. Love your blog..just found you and follow.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of us struggle with a lot of the same things. We tend to be drawn to others that share our same quirks ;) It's hard with social media the way it is to get a perfect picture of how others live and then try to measure ourselves against that. Thank you so much for following :)
DeleteWe could be twins in how we think! I feel the same way on an every moment basis. Everything you expressed, right down to the OCD issues is me. How I feel about my blog, my FB fan page, even myself and my cottage on a daily basis. On one hand my wish for you and others is that they never have to feel that way, but on the other hand it is nice to not be alone. Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteStephanie- You are more than welcome. I do tend to be a very open book in person, but guarded on my blog?? I agree, it is both a blessing (in the picture perfect sense) and a curse.
DeleteYou are so right. My house is no where near photo perfect...and I usually take tight shots when it needs picking up. You have a lovely blog.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mary Ann. Tight shots are the best!
DeleteI've been stopping over for the last week or so since following a pin over here...which is usually the amount of time it takes for me to decide if a blog is gonna make my daily reading list. Yep. You made it. :) If I had a nickel for every post like this I've written over the years, well....let's just say between your watchmaker table and my posts about my imperfect life, we'd be rich buddies. :) I honestly think the reason blogs are on the rise and published magazines are struggling has to do with how much we women like to see REAL homes, read about REAL lives, see REAL budgets in action. I still love a drool-worthy photo shoot in some zillion dollar beach cottage....but my daily manna is popping over to a few friendly blogs to see how the rest of us live and decorate. I don't have a need to see perfection....I like reality too.
ReplyDeleteCindy- That is the sweetest compliment! I like to keep it real- my budget is small since I am no longer working, but I like it to look nice too :)
Deletegreat post! I think being OCD is a blogging requirement! otherwise we'd all have the same lamp and artificial flowers on the entry table that we had 5 years ago!!
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh out loud!! :)
DeleteI loved it when you said "i have had doozies thrown at me" I can so relate!
ReplyDeleteas my hubby would say: "you worry too much"
{then I will worry about worrying lol} it's a circle, and I need to learn not to take myself {or others} so seriously, well at least it sounds easy when I write it down, hmmmmmmm
Exactly! I do the same thing! I worry that I am worrying, then I worry that I am not worrying about everything I SHOULD be worrying about. Now I need a nap!
DeleteJust became a follower. Love your blog! Hope you have a great day!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sarah. Lovely name :)
DeleteWell done! You're doing good things here.
ReplyDeleteThank you, anon- I try ;)
DeleteLove your Blog, I am also a new follower!
ReplyDeleteThank you!!
DeleteWe all have our thing that can be debilitating if we let it, I guess. You are so honest...I love it! I am not OCD but procrastinate to the point of bringing problems on. Sounds like a small thing but it can become big if I let it. I think I'm an optimist or I come across that way...inside I'm always scared to death of what might go wrong. What does that mean? Don't know. Thanks for keeping it real. :)
ReplyDeleteI do that too, scared something will go wrong, but optimistic that it won't. Do you remember the moving Something to Talk About? Love this line from the movie: Keep your expectations low that way when something good happens you will be pleasantly surprised, lol!
DeleteI absolutely love your blog and am so happy I found it.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to know that I'm not the only one who beats herself up. If I had a blog it would take me forever to post anything that I wouldn't have anyone following along. I love that your an everyday normal person living life like the rest of us. I think your post on your bedroom curtains is one of my favorites. You sewed them to short but by adding a little burlap to the bottom you were able to salvage them. I would have had a good cry and probably gave up. Luckily you didn't because they are beautiful.
Thanks for sharing and keeping it real.
Michelle- Oh trust me, I cried a bit over those too short curtains! It's kind of like life, it comes up short sometimes, so you have to embellish where you can ;) SO glad you are here!!
DeleteOh I loved this post. I reeeally loved this post! Thank you soo much for your realness:)
ReplyDeleteDorie- Thank you so much, your blog is one I click to EVERY Tuesday morning. I like the pretty, but a girls gotta keep it real too!
DeleteIf I were to write about myself, I could copy your words. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteJamie- Sometimes it helps just to know we are not alone in our imperfections. We tend to surf this lovely world of blogs and see more perfection than reality. Gotta keep the balance :)
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