This has to be one of my favourite sayings. I think it's important to take into account what someone else may be dealing with before you react to things they say or do. I can relate to that simply because I am one of those people that others look at and think "Wow, she really has it all together!"
The reality is not so much so.
Earlier this year I was officially diagnosed with OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I already had a clinical diagnosis of anxiety and ADHD, but the OCD felt a little to weird for me openly talk about or share with people. It's not like I'm licking the switch plates or coughing in threes- it's a bit more subtle than that. I do tend to take negative comments or criticism and the thought runs as if on a wheel in my head over and over until it becomes the only thing I can think about. If a bad thought comes into my head I have to sit up and shake my head until the thought is gone. (weird, I know- poor Travis probably thought I had fleas when we first moved in together!) I obsessively check at night to see that the doors are locked and the stove is off. My lists have lists. Cleaning is not just a hobby, it's a necessity for me to have things clean and organized. I cannot go to sleep or walk out the door unless the house is "settled" aka neat as a pin. I click the lock button on my car three times before I feel like I can walk away from it. You get the idea.
To others it looks lovely I'm sure. The house is clean. Meals are planned in advance with coordinating cookbook pages tabbed. The grocery list is even written out in categories. Laundry is done, folded and put away as soon as it comes out of the dryer. The dishwasher is emptied immediately and you will never find dirty dishes in the sink on my watch. Pretty, but exhausting.
I'm in therapy. A lot of it. I have found a wonderful psychologist who really gets my quirky ways and is willing to help me to help myself. I'm scared, but excited about what fixing me could look like for myself and my family. I'm sharing this because I wanted to talk about it, and because I'm hoping that if anyone who reads this and is dealing with similar issues can see that it's okay. I'm not perfect- never proclaimed to be, but I am aware that my OCD makes me look that way on the outside. I fight this battle daily, knowing that it's also a part of who I am- but not something I want to define me.