Sara and I went to court last week so that the judge could give me guardianship of her. I had been struggling with this since before she turned 18 last April. This year has been a tough one for me, especially when it came time to explain to Sara what I would be doing, what us going to court last Tuesday would really mean for her. There just isn't a book out there on how to do this. When you have a baby with special needs there are books galore out there on how to raise them, what to expect, what to do. But for older kids there is virtually nothing out there in the way of "how to" or even what to do in situations like this.
When it came down to it I simply did what I've always done- sat down and talked to Sara in a way she could understand. I explained to her that as a Mom my job is to make her doctor's appointments, buy her clothes, make sure she eats right and takes her medicines every day. That I love my job of being her mom and that when we went to court to see the judge, he was going to allow me to keep doing all those mom things I do even though she was 18. I asked her if that was ok, if she thought I was doing a good job, to which she said yes- and well, the rest of it seemed easy after that.
The day came and we got dressed up to see the judge. Sara was very quiet and just listened as he and the attorneys asked me questions. I held Sara's hand as I took the oath to always care for her and her best interest. She squeezed my hand after I said,
"I will", and looked up at me with the same look of love and innocence as always. Nothing changed. No big shift in the universe, just Sara and I standing hand in hand.
The way it was meant be.
you know what.. that sounded like a marriage to me... and in a way it is.. so Congratulations to you both.. this is a good thing and now you can all chill out and get on with the business of living.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you both.
Noonie- Exactly. Perfectly put : ) Thinking about a trip across the pond...
ReplyDeleteTHINK HARDER!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time reading your blog and your post brought tears to my eyes. God bless you and your wonderful daughter. 26 years ago,our daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate. Like you, we saw her through years of treatment: plastic surgery, speech therapy, orthodontia, etc. I determined when she was born that this birth defect would not define her--and it hasn't! You are the best kind of mom, and you are blessed to have one another. Congratulations and have a wonderful life!
ReplyDeletehaha - that honeymoon boat has sailed and you are getting ready for school to start! sorry to burst your bubble. I find it amazing that in all my years in foster care (well, just 5, but it seemed like forever!), I never once stepped foot in a courtroom. I eventually had an aunt & uncle who took legal guardianship of me (after 3 lousy foster homes), but we never had to go to court for it - or if they did, they never told me about it. I'm so glad you're back online! I felt like the Houston part of my morning blog tours was missing! Yeah to both you and Sara for having the special relationship that you do - and for being an inspiration to other parents of special needs children. I've suggested your blog to a cousin who has a Down's baby, and hope she comes to visit you virtually - if for nothing more than to see that her daughter's life can be much more than she ever expected! Hugs from the Hill Country!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you will always be mom (and that's a good thing)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it went well. I knew you'd be fine. It's so obvious how much you care for your kids.
ReplyDelete