My little Bear...

Y'all know how I am about my youngest son, Bear. I know it's not right to have favourites, and I really don't, but Hunter and I have something so unique and special. Our relationship is just different than the relationship I have with my other three children. Funny how the kid that started out as the "last one" and "my husband's shot at raising a baby" turned out to be something completely different. A closeness that is just impossible to describe.

Tuesday morning was our long awaited (one and a half years on a waiting list) appointment with a developmental pediatrician. She was intelligent and really knew her stuff, but more importantly she spent over two hours helping us to figure out what was going on with Bear.

We've had him tested twice for dyslexia. Dad is dyslexic, and older sister Annie is too. It runs in our family. Hunter presents as dyslexic and has since he was five. All of his tests show low phonemic awareness and short memory. Classic dyslexia. However TEA's guidelines for getting into the dyslexia program are very different than the medical professions guidelines, and Hunter never qualified. He needs the comprehensive reading program, in other words dyslexia class. Formal diagnosis: Expressive and Receptive Language Disorder, Dyslexia, Anxiety, ADHD and fine and gross motor coordination issues.

I left the hospital with a sense of relief: I was right, there was something going on this whole time. I also left with a sense of dread: How in the world am I going to have the energy/time to fight for what this kid needs?

That night as I tucked him into bed I felt tears welling up in my eyes and an overwhelming feeling of love. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and never let him go. I wanted to keep him protected from all the hardships and struggles that await him as a kid with all of his issues.

I want the impossible.


  1. Me too! That is exactly the way I feel. I get tears in my eyes thinking of him going through what I did. One thing thou, he has a great mom that always seems to find a little more energy somewhere to fight a little harder for him. I Love You.

  2. At least you found out when he was young enough to get him help now. My ex was completely against testing and had that "nothing's wrong with my boy" attitude.

    Once he was finally tested, we could treat accordingly. Unfortunately he didn't get diagnosed until 8th grade.

    Now that he is on a treatment plan, he went from barely passing (he did fail 8th grade), to being an a/b student on the honor roll. He went from constantly getting into trouble to becoming the "good" kid in class. When the meds finally kicked in and he felt normal, his self esteem sky rocketed.

    All of this is to say, keep focused on the goal and the rest will fall into place.

  3. Travis- See? Just when I feel totally overwhelmed you come in and make me feel better. Thank you.

    Sheri-Oh that is so good to hear! Our youngest daughter is dyslexic, but didn't have near the other issues Hunter has. Our oldest daughter has Down Syndrome, so the thought of going through the intense therapy three times a week again feels so overwhelming to me. I so appreciate your kind words of encouragement!

  4. You sound the way the Wife did when we found out that Grasshopper was autistic. And later found out Maverick was ADHD. They're both now relatively normal kids. I have no doubt that you will be very successful in fighting for your kids. But I think in Hunter's case, as he gets older, he will learn how adjust and be just like the other kids. Maverick is a typical 13 year old with lots of goofy friends.

    Don't be afraid to reach out to those of us who've been there if you need anything.

  5. Bear is so grown up!

    I'm just thrilled that you have the information that you have been seeking for so long.

    Hunter is blessed to have a fighter as a momma. If I know you, you will find the energy and endurance to battle for his needs.

    Remember when Howard asked him if he could roll his tongue into a "hot dog?" And, Hunter said, "No, but I can make a samich!"
    Still makes me smile. :)


  6. I know that feeling. You have something major on your side, besides being a great mom and having a strong support system, you're an educator.

    Just remember to document everything IN WRITING. Scares the crap out of them knowing that you're keeping track. Literally, talked to the teacher/principal/counselor? Follow up in writing. Everything. In writing.

    Hang in there, B. It does get a little easier.

  7. Thank goodness there is so much more awareness about learning disabilities than there was when my son was in school! It IS a constant battle to get them the help they need, but with you being an educator you already have one foot in the door. Hunter is a doll! You seem to have a great support system. He will turn out to be an awesome young man, I have not doubt. My son is now married, has 2 great kids and owns his own small business. He still has challenges, but he has learned how to deal with them.
    And, as Inanna said, and as I said about the incident with your neighbor - DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT! Blessings.


Thanks so much for popping in. I appreciate all of your lovely comments...Tricia