My little Bear...
Y'all know how I am about my youngest son, Bear. I know it's not right to have favourites, and I really don't, but Hunter and I have something so unique and special. Our relationship is just different than the relationship I have with my other three children. Funny how the kid that started out as the "last one" and "my husband's shot at raising a baby" turned out to be something completely different. A closeness that is just impossible to describe.
Tuesday morning was our long awaited (one and a half years on a waiting list) appointment with a developmental pediatrician. She was intelligent and really knew her stuff, but more importantly she spent over two hours helping us to figure out what was going on with Bear.
We've had him tested twice for dyslexia. Dad is dyslexic, and older sister Annie is too. It runs in our family. Hunter presents as dyslexic and has since he was five. All of his tests show low phonemic awareness and short memory. Classic dyslexia. However TEA's guidelines for getting into the dyslexia program are very different than the medical professions guidelines, and Hunter never qualified. He needs the comprehensive reading program, in other words dyslexia class. Formal diagnosis: Expressive and Receptive Language Disorder, Dyslexia, Anxiety, ADHD and fine and gross motor coordination issues.
I left the hospital with a sense of relief: I was right, there was something going on this whole time. I also left with a sense of dread: How in the world am I going to have the energy/time to fight for what this kid needs?
That night as I tucked him into bed I felt tears welling up in my eyes and an overwhelming feeling of love. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him and never let him go. I wanted to keep him protected from all the hardships and struggles that await him as a kid with all of his issues.
I want the impossible.